No News Is Good News!

1120071.jpgAwise man once said: “Boredom indicates a temporary disconnect with the universe.” And well, since we’re trying to disconnect you with the universe anyway on this page, why not do it the direct way and bore you outright by telling about yet another leaked Internet video? Warning: Some of the “information” below is made up. Reader discretion is advised, and so is a salt shaker at hand. So on we go: the list of

women—young, old, and inbetween— who have tried to imitate Marilyn Monroe is quite endless: be it on stage, in music videos, porn flicks, etc. Why, even sweet little grannies have been known to claim that just by dying their white hair a little and putting on $599.95 dentures, they look like the original upskirt woman. (Salt! Salt!) Kylie Minogue, after her long struggle with breast cancer, is back in the studios; she’s started recording for her upcoming album, called just “X”. Now here’s the boring point of our story: two songs she wrote and recorded with a Scottish DJ who goes by the outrageously inane name of Mylo were already on the Net—and one of them was available from Mylo’s MySpace page. Silly of Mylo, but it gels with his name. A single called 2 hearts, which was supposed to be her comeback song—Minogue’s first single since 2004—was leaked, too. This one had Minogue doing a pole dance. (Use the salt shaker.) The

Austrylian Record Industry Associ-eye-tion (no, really; the RIAA does have competition down there), in a feeble attempt at order, removed copies hosted anywhere in Austrylia. Go ahead, mail them at ARIA@some.aussies. are.dumb that there exists such a thing as a BitTorrent network.

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